Fees have been introduced at some supported living home in Redbridge. This mean's that from this day on people will have to pay a fee just to use the toilet, even their own toilet in their own flat.
It will cost £2 just to go into the dining room for fish and chips and 20p just for transferring them from the wrapping paper to your own plate.
Even to put vinegar on your chips will cost you something, about £1, and £3 just to put sauce on your fish and chips.
If you take too long to eat you will be charged £1 extra - a fee just for being too slow.
Another rule to be introduced is a time limit set for the time you have to eat your dinner. This mean's that you will have to finish your meal in five minutes; any longer and you have to pay an additional fee of £1 for every extra five minutes added on top of how long it take's to eat.
Once you have eaten your lunch you will have to pay a fee of £2 just to go into the kitchen to do the washing up, and on top of that, a fee of £3 just to wash up your plates, cups, knives, forks and spoons. Once done you will return to your flat. Even that isn't free.
Just before you go into your flat you will have to pay an entrance fee of £4, just to enter your own flat, and, if you want to use your own toilet in your own home you will have to pay an entrance fee of 50p. if you don't have the money I'm afraid you'll have to use the kitchen as a toilet providing you have your own bowl , not such a good thing if you're cooking in the kitchen.
Even to enter the kitchen won't be entirely free, even to use it as a toilet, so the only answer is to install a toilet inside your own trousers, this way you won't have to pay just to use the toilet.
When it come's to cooking your own meal at home even that won't be entirely free and have to pay £5 just to make your own dinner in your own flat.
Of course to get to your own grub you have to open the fridge. For that you will be charged 5p every time you open the fridge.
Even to take out the cutlery from the drawer won't be entirely free for it will cost 1p.
Once you sit down at the table to have your meal you will have to pay a fee of £1 just to sit down at your own table in your own flat.
At night you have to go to bed; even that won't be free, for it will cost £3 just climb into a bed and another £3 just get out of bed, and 80p just to get dressed.
Before you leave home you will be charged an exit fee of £5, and an entrance fee of £5 when you return home, paying it just before you open the street door, and an additional fee just to empty rubbish in the bins outside.
"Fees for everything that exists, " what madness said Frank Bone, one of the tenants, how can I afford that?"
Because of the fees for everything some tenants have had to leave their flats and end up homeless so they could escape the cost of paying for everything that exists in the whole world.
Some tenants have found refuge up trees whilst others have ended up boring a hole inside a tree to use as their own home.
But' unbeknown to tenants who have had to end up leaving home to escape the fees, those who live inside trees will be told to leave under a new law being introduced which will ban the use of trees as homes, meaning a prison sentence of six years for anyone caught living inside a tree. The same thing applies if you live on top of a tree. This cover's a maximum sentence of six years imprisonment. so, the only other option is to end up using a hole in the ground as a home. Even that will be banned under a new law.
As a last resort people who have left their home to escape having to pay fees for everything will have no other option than to sleep in the park, but have to leave at sunset and end up walking the streets and find a shelter in a parallel world - the world that exists in their mind.
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